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Oh so strong my desire... 

These tools that you see in the picture will be used on your foot if you break it. The tools will be used to place the broken bones in the right position. Inside your swallen red foot. What you don't see in the picture are screws that will be drilled into a metal panel placed upon the broken bones inside your foot. What you don't see in the picture is the doctor, a young bold guy with sparkling eyes responsible for the operation. Responsible for your day. For your emotions. For your memories. For your job. What you don't see in the picture is me in the wheel chair and this doc placing it opposite to the tools hanging on the wall. The doctor does not understand why I am laughing. He would normally not see people laughing in my place and situaton. I am laughing because being stoned is too banal. I am laughing because there is nothing I can control. Even that darn wheel chair won't move as I plan.

The doc leaves to have a look at my x-ray pictures. While you wait in this tool-room stuck in the wheel chair you think of a nice foot massage. About the tasks you will fail to do. Bike rides. Jogging. About losing your job. About Niagara Falls. About people who feel more pain.

Now when you use crutches to walk you see how people are afraid of being part of your life and how they force themselves to show that they love you.

Friendship is overrated. Another funny commercial by Sprite which is to be very popular.

 

This beautiful song and video by Radiohead is a lot like a dream. Thom Yorke is running through a forest, meeting different creatures. He finds a rat house with two elderly rats smoking inside. Then he finds another house with rats and bunnies having dinner. Then he continues his journey and finds a nice jacket and boots and puts them on. Suddenly he finds crowns watching him and starts running away. He is followed by a flock of angry crowns pecking his head. He tries to escape. From the dream. He doesn't manage. At the time he runs his body is growing into a tree trunk, his hands into branches. Beautifully fucking illustrated.

My girlfriend had a baby. Our baby. The baby who came out too early. The girl who needed to be inside her mom for two more months. But there was no way we could place her back inside. We, of course decided to keep her. Thinking about her proper nutrition, body temperature, sleep and all... We were thinking of an incubator to place her into. To keep her warm. We needed a nice warm environment for our baby. Temperature control was our short-term goal. Because you were always afraid that the baby would get cold.

It was not that easy to find an incubator. So temporarily we were going to keep her in a paper juice box. Yes, she was that small and fit into a juice box. The Euroshoper orange juice box. You can buy this brand of juice in Europe, cheaply, for half-a-euro. We filled the box with warm water to keep the baby warm. Up to her neck, so she can breath. So we can breath.

You carry her around in the box, which is in your bag. Or in your backpack. The juice box is open so that the baby doesn't suffocate. You check from time to time that it is open. That the baby is alright. You carry her around. But the time passes and the baby seems to be the same in size. And not growing. And as white as a candle. Your immidiate guess - she is dead. But no. She is not. She just froze. Her blood circulation stopped. She was so white that you could not imagine any blood inside of here at all. You push her against your knee, toss her in your hands. And she gets back to life. Still too cold. The reason why that happened - is because we froze the water. And the baby in it. Because we placed the box into the fridge. By mistake. The water froze the baby. But she is alive. Well, then she was alive. It was not what took her away from us. It was not the case.

Once, we were watching a football game with all our family, three of us. From the field, we went to buy some drinks. On the way back we left the baby by the coffee machine. And went on to the game. When we realized we had left the baby it was too late. When we returned, it was cut intp two accuarate lines. Like heroin. By goths or some other scum.

Want a boss like that?

 

This is how a detached foot & leg of a woman look like. An image from my dream.

I have no clue why the foot of the woman detached from her leg. The leg seemed to be a whole piece of her body, like any other part. No wounds, nothing. The woman didn't even make any effort to detach it. Neither did I. It just fell off. There were these tiny sticks in her leg cuts. You can see them in the picture. As if the two parts were meant to be attached again. Those little sticks that you see in the picture... because of them I was able to attach the foot back into place. This is my second dream about body parts.

However, I remember a few years ago I was holding a head of my class mate, a girl named Vera. In my hands. But in that case I took her head off myself. I do not remembr why. And this is another story. For now search 'cut fingers'.